You and Your Therapist: Finding the Best Fit for Your Goals
Finding a therapist that you feel comfortable with and trust to support you in reaching your goals can seem like looking for a needle in a haystack; without knowing what a needle looks like. It can become so overwhelming that choosing the most efficient option and trying to fit in with the first one found seems best to avoid any extra headache. However, taking the time to learn about yourself, your needs, and the options available to you will be an investment that greatly improves the returns you get from therapy in the long run. Research suggests that the therapeutic alliance - or degree to which the patient is comfortable around, trusting of, and confident in the shared goals of the clinician - contribute the same amount or more toward successful therapeutic outcomes than the psychotherapeutic theory/techniques used. The following will review some of the most important variables to consider when looking for the best fit clinician to feel confident in committing to working with a therapist on an ongoing basis and reaching your goals.
What is Important to You?
The Person
There are many factors that can influence your comfort level and ability to build rapport with a therapist. When starting your search it is okay to be picky. Gender, age, experience level, etc. can all be valid factors in choosing between therapists. Of course, you can still work with those who you may feel less comfortable with based on these types of variables; but it will take time to overcome that discomfort and it is always your choice about whether or not you want to work through it. In fact, hesitancy towards certain therapists can be a great stepping off point to reflect on why those variables bring about discomfort and what is important about them to you. Therapist cliché incoming: does seeing an older male therapist bring about feelings of your strained relationship with your father? Would it be beneficial to meet with them to confront your fears and build comfort around that demographic or would it be better to work through those feelings with a clinician who does not elicit that discomfort and where you feel safe being vulnerably honest? Ultimately, it is better to be intentional about seeking out a therapist that fits your needs in this category before jumping in so that hesitancy toward services due to unexpected negative experiences are avoided.
Communication Styles
How do you find yourself communicating with friends and family in your day to day life? What ways do people communicate with you that make you feel most comfortable? These questions can help guide you to a therapist that fits in well with how you get the most out of conversations. Some people and cultures value a level of directness in communication that can seem off-putting or rude to others. Some use sarcasm as a defense mechanism, regulatory tool, or just a form of expressing their lighthearted outlook on life. Some want to know “the why” of comments and suggestions made by others to understand the purpose of the information. Quirks of communication are a genuine point of connection between you and your therapist towards building rapport. Being able to evaluate that connectedness necessitates that we take the time to know ourselves well enough to do so.
Therapeutic Approaches
There are many different modalities or ‘theories of change’ when it comes to therapy/psychology. While we won’t go into detail for each one; below is a brief overview of the generally accepted five categories to give you an idea of what to expect from each and direction for further inquiry of specific approaches. For further information on specific modalities housed within each of these categories, Psychology Today’s catalog of Types of Therapy is an invaluable tool for becoming familiar with what to look for and feel more comfortable about the process.
Behavioral Therapies
As we grow we use the people and environments around us to understand the world and our place within it. Over time we can develop patterns of behavior that can be both conscious or unconscious. In this way, nature and nurture are two parts of a coin we carry with us to direct choices. This approach utilizes understanding where our behaviors come from and making intentional choices against typical patterns to achieve therapeutic goals.
Cognitive Therapies
Eloquently summated by René Descarte, I think therefore I am. Cognitive approaches focus on the messages we tell ourselves internally and the resultant emotions/behaviors of those thoughts. By reframing and challenging these cognitions we see the world with a different framework and find new opportunities for pursuing a fulfilling life.
Humanistic Therapies
Reliant on a focus of the interpersonal dynamics between people, humanistic approaches spend time on the inherent ability of each person to choose and find their own strength. As such, therapists take a less authoritative approach and work to encourage personal expression of choice in life, capacity for change, and a wellness model of existence.
Psychoanalytic/Psychodynamic Therapies
Some of the earliest psychological theories developed, and commonly used in pop culture when referencing psychology come from this category, most notably Freud. In this approach the clinician focuses on guiding you in exploring and bringing to the surface unconscious thoughts/feelings/motivations, often through behaviors and choices observed in the therapeutic setting. The insight gained from this process is often itself the goal as it is thought to be the necessary first step to eventually influencing change in thoughts and behaviors.
Eclectic/Holistic/Integrative Therapy
This category is simply a demarcation for a therapist who does not find themselves using any one of the above theories in practice. Rather, they integrate the knowledge and tools associated with any number of them to provide a holistic treatment protocol that allows for more diversity and adaptability to your individualized needs. For those with certain expectations, it is important to communicate that you are looking for a very specific modality and do not want to explore other approaches. Otherwise, you may find yourself getting frustrated with this type of therapeutic processing.
Specialized Expertise
Some forms of therapy require specialization that is not provided in the base education necessary to become therapists. Some simply require advanced training or certification that can be obtained by any clinician at any time. These include but are not limited to EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Music/Art Therapy, and Somatic Experiencing. Some require different degree paths while in school such as Marriage/Family Therapy and Substance Use/Addictions counseling. Some others require doctoral level education such as in Assessment/Evaluation (Doctorate of Psychology/Psychologist) or Medication Prescription/Management (Doctorate of Psychiatry/Psychiatrist or PMHNP/Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner).
The Search for a Best Fit Therapist
Between personal characteristics/needs, communication styles, therapeutic theories, and education/training; there are many variables to consider that will play into the effectiveness of therapy. Though no one clinician is going to be perfect, knowing about yourself and your options can greatly improve the likelihood of finding a good fit that you are comfortable around, feel heard and supported by, and can confidently work towards your goals with.
At RAFT Counseling, we care about supporting in these ways and work to make sure you have the necessary tools to be confident in your care. If you or a loved one is looking for therapeutic services and are struggling with finding the right clinician Simply visit our website or contact us to get connected and on the path towards your healing journey.