Domestic Violence: Awareness, Empowerment, & Prevention

October is nationally recognized as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The goal of this month is to raise awareness, uplift/empower survivors, support services made available to survivors and their families, and prevent domestic violence (DV) from occurring. Domestic violence, or sometimes known as intimate partner violence (IPV), is abuse or aggression that occurs in a romantic relationship - either a current or past relationship. Roughly 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience physical violence, emotional/mental violence, sexual violence, or stalking in their lifetime (CDC, 2017). DV can impact anyone of any gender, race, sexual identity, or socioeconomic status; DV does not discriminate and often impacts marginalized communities at a higher rate. 

Raising Awareness & Understanding Domestic Violence (DV)

DV is common, unfortunately. In 2024, 64 million women and 53 million men reported experiencing psychological aggression from a partner (CDC, 2024), though this is likely an underreported crime. Last year, in Douglas County, there were a reported 304 victims; in 2025 there have already been 140 victims reported by Douglas County Sheriff’s Office (DCSO, 2025). 

Abuse can take many forms. There is physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional/psychological abuse, financial abuse, online abuse, sexual coercion, reproductive coercion, spiritual abuse, and stalking. At the start of relationships, it can be difficult to tell if a partner may turn abusive. Some possible red flags to look for are:

• Telling you that you never do anything correctly
• Showing extreme jealousy towards other people in your support network
• Preventing or discouraging you from spending time with other people
• Insulting, demeaning, or shaming you, especially in front of others
• Preventing you from making your own decisions, like with work or school
• Controlling finances in the household without discussion (taking your money or refusing to provide you with money for necessary expenses)
• Pressuring you to engage in sexual acts you are not comfortable with
• Pressuring you to use drugs or alcohol
• Insulting your parenting or even threatening to harm or take away your child or pet
• Intimidation with weapons
• Destroying your belongings or your home

Even just one or two of these behaviors can be predictive of whether abuse is present in a relationship. One theme of these warning signs is that the abuser is attempting to establish power and control over their partner. The Power and Control Wheel is a helpful tool to support a survivor in identifying abuse they may be experiencing in a relationship. 

DV can result in physical injuries, emotional distress, and even death. 1 in 5 homicide victims are killed by an intimate partner (CDC, 2024). DV can result in negative health outcomes that impact the heart, muscles, bones, the digestive system, the reproductive system, as well as the nervous system; these outcomes can result in chronic illness. Survivors may experience negative mental health outcomes such as Major Depressive Disorder or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. People from marginalized communities are at a higher risk for experiencing abuse and for negative mental and physical health outcomes (CDC, 2024). 

DV is not caused by one single factor, rather it is multifaceted and involves individual, societal, relational, and community factors that can both increase and decrease the risk of DV occurrence. Risk factors are characteristics that may increase the likelihood of experiencing or perpetrating IPV. Risk factors may include:

• Low self-esteem
• Desire for power and control in relationships
• History of emotional or physical abuse in childhood
• Unhealthy familial relationships and dynamics
• Relationship conflicts including jealousy, possessiveness, tension, divorce, or separations
• Communities with high rates of violence and crime
• Weak community sanctions against IPV (ex: unwillingness of neighbors to intervene or call law enforcement when witnessing violence)
• Income inequality
• Cultural norms that support aggression and violence
• Weak health, educational, economic, and social policies and laws

Protective factors are factors that may decrease the likelihood of experiencing or perpetrating IPV. Protective factors can include:

• Strong social support networks and stable, positive relationships 
• Community members feeling connected to one another and maintain involvement
• Coordination of resources and services amongst community agencies
• Communities with access to safe, stable housing
• Communities with access to mental health services and medical care
• Communities with access to economic and financial supports

Often, survivors are experiencing guilt and shame over their circumstances. A question that they are asked frequently is “why didn’t you leave sooner?”. While typically said with the intent of understanding, this often feels unhelpful and unsupportive to the survivor. DV is about holding power and control over the abused partner. When someone is experiencing abuse, they may feel powerless to the idea of leaving the abusive partner - they may feel as though they have no control over their circumstances. Abusers will often threaten their partner with physical harm (even death), legal harm (such as taking any shared children away), or emotional harm as a tactic to control their partner and force them into continuing the relationship. Abusers may make claims of changing to fill their partner with hope that “this time will be different”. 

Many abusers are not abusive 100% of the time. They may engage in a cycle of abuse that can last over a period of hours, days, weeks, or months. The first stage is tension-building. A survivor may experience the silent treatment from their partner, witness emotional outbursts, blame, criticism, jealousy, etc. During this phase, the survivor may feel as though they are walking on eggshells. Next will come the violent stage. This is where a survivor will experience some form of abuse: physical, emotional, sexual, etc. During this phase, survivors may feel threatened, trapped, helpless or numb. The third stage is the reconciliation stage. During this stage, the abuser will try to reconcile with their partner to win back trust and attempt to return to the “honeymoon phase”. The survivor may receive gifts, affection, promises of change, and the abuser will likely minimize the abuse as well as excuse their behavior. This stage can lead to trauma bonding, where the survivor will form an emotional tie to their abuser. During reconciliation, the abuser also becomes the savior. The final stage of the abuse cycle is the calm stage. This stage is similar to the reconciliation phase, however this stage is crucial to the abuser to perpetuate the abuse cycle. The calm stage is often where the abuser will gaslight their partner into believing abuse never occurred or was not “as bad as they’re making it seem”. 

Supporting Survivors

It can be challenging to witness a loved one being abused by their partner. To be supportive for survivors it is crucial to remember that survivors are never to blame for the abuse that they experience. The simple act of holding space and validating their experiences can be profoundly healing for a survivor. Other ways of providing support for survivors include: listening without judgement, validating their feelings, and respecting their boundaries.

Listen Without Judgement 

Create a safe environment where they can feel safe, valued, and heard. Be careful not to interrupt or offer unsolicited advice. Reflect on what you hear to show engagement, ask open-ended questions, validate their experience, and be present when they are ready to open up.

Validate Their Feelings

Survivors may experience shame, confusion, and fear. Validate their emotions and experiences to show them that they are deserving of attention and care. 

Respect Their Boundaries

Trauma is complex and often it takes time for someone to feel comfortable or safe enough to open up about their experiences, if they are ever ready to discuss it. Allow them to lead the conversation and be accommodating of their needs. This will show the survivor that you value their comfort and autonomy, fostering a sense of security. 

It is important to remember that you cannot force a survivor into being ready to leave. You may feel a sense of urgency in “rescuing” them from their circumstances, but pushing too far, too quickly, may cause them to withdraw from your support. You can listen, validate, and support them only to the extent that they are willing to receive from you. Remember to also focus on self-care while supporting a survivor. Witnessing the pain of someone you care about can take a toll and it is possible to experience vicarious trauma. Find the balance between seeking help and support for yourself while also respecting the privacy and confidentiality of your loved one. 

Sometimes it can be beneficial to help them develop a safety plan. This is where it is important to get them connected with a local domestic violence program to support them in safety planning and getting connected to other resources. For Douglas County, The Crisis Center is a wonderful local resource that provides . Violence Free Colorado is a valuable state resource for finding support or learning how to get involved. Another resource that shares helpful articles as well as a search tool for local resources is domesticshelters.org.

Therapy will be an impactful resource for survivors of DV. It is important to seek a therapist who is trauma-informed given the delicate nature of DV. Therapists can play an important role in safety planning as well as processing through trauma through modalities such as trauma-informed CBT, ACT, cognitive processing, or EMDR. If you are a survivor of IPV, remember that you are not to blame and you are deserving of acceptance and of support. 

Prevention Efforts

Prevention efforts are meant to reduce the occurrence of DV by promoting healthy and respectful relationships. This can be promoted by taking action to address decreasing risk factors for DV and increasing protective factors for DV. Below are prevention strategies and approaches that can be taken (CDC, 2024):

• Teach safe and healthy relational skills
  • Social-emotional learning programs for adolescents 
  • Healthy relationship programs for adults
• Engage influential adults and peers
  • Family-based programs
  • Bystander empowerment and education
• Disrupt developmental pathways that increase likelihood for IPV
  • Preschool enrichment programs with family involvement
  • Parenting skills and family relationship programs
  • Treatment for at-risk adolescents and families
• Create protective environments
  • Improve school climate and safety
  • Improve organizational policies and workplace climate
  • Modify the physical and social environments of neighborhoods
• Strengthen economic support for families
  • Strengthen household financial security and work-family supports
• Support survivors to increase safety and lessen harms
  • Survivor-centered services
  • Housing programs
  • First responder and civil legal protections
  • Treatment and support for survivors of IPV, including teen dating violence

Increasing awareness increases prevention efforts. Bringing attention to DV helps the effort to end DV. You can reach out to local DV programs (such as the ones listed previously in this blog) to learn more about how you can support their efforts. It takes effort on the individual level, community level, and societal level to fight against DV.